The Calling of Fatherhood

THE CALLING OF FATHERHOOD

Genesis 18:18-19 (NIV)
18 Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him.
19 For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him."

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)
6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

            In behalf of the BCI family, I want to greet all our fathers, “Happy Father’s Day.” Today, in our celebration of Father’s day, we don’t want to just thank and honor all our fathers. We also like to speak God’s blessings to all of them, especially to those who are doing their best to positively affect their families towards God.  We as a church firmly affirm from the teachings of the Bible that all fathers matter so much to God and to their families.  We also affirm that God has designed fathers to be one of His primary instruments in the shaping of children in every generation. I believe that time and again, we need to find opportunities to reinforce these truths to all our fathers.

            Do you know that many churches in America today are skipping the celebration of Father’s Day? The reason behind this is they don’t want to make those who have been abandoned by their fathers feel uncomfortable during the celebration. I definitely understand the concern, and I hope none of you would feel that we are being insensitive to those people when we celebrate Father’s day as a church. I believe we cannot escape the fact that almost everyone in the country will celebrate it today. I hope that as a church we can take advantage of it by trying to address some important issues to help our fathers become much better fathers.

            It is truly tragic that in America today, fatherlessness has become one of the greatest social evils. The most recent statistic shows that nearly 40 percent of all American children do not live with their fathers. Before they reach age 18, more than half of all U.S. children will spend at least a significant part of their childhood living apart from their fathers. Many sociologists believe that it is the principal cause for many social problems like poverty, juvenile delinquency, teen pregnancy, domestic violence, etc…  We need to be alarmed with all of these and pray that God will intervene bringing revival in the hearts of our fathers.

            With all of these in mind, I thought it would be appropriate to revisit the subject of the calling of fatherhood. Still in line with our Back to Basics theme, since being a father is a divine appointment or a sacred calling, we want to discover from the Bible God’s expectations regarding being a father.

            Our key text is Genesis 18:18-19. The context was Abraham being chosen by God to be the father of the great Jewish nation. It is evident in verse 19 that of all people, Abraham was the one chosen by God for this very privileged position. I’m putting a lot of emphasis on that word “chosen” because I want to drive across the truth that no one really becomes a father by accident. It is a privilege given by God. The Bible clearly declares children as gifts from God:

Psalm 127:3 (NIV)
3 Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.

            This is absolutely a great verse. How many of you see your children as precious treasures? That’s exactly how God wants us to see our children. The word Heritage is another word for inheritance. In other words, they are God’s precious treasures being entrusted to us. God has given them to us in order to enrich our lives.

            I know many would disagree with this perspective. Somehow, there are people in our society who see children as being burdens, rather than blessings. If some of you have a tendency to think this way, I pray to God that your perception will change. And that you would see fatherhood as a special calling from God.

            Now, attached with this enormous privilege are some specific expectations. What are these expectations that God has plainly defined to Abraham? 

I.           SET THE DIRECTION: (v.19; Prov. 22:6)

       More than the father’s responsibility to provide the physical and material needs of his children, God has given him the task to set the direction of their lives. From our text, God said to Abraham – “For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just.”

            Without a doubt, children enter life completely dependent upon the direction their parents will provide to them.  When you consider our text, the fathers are specifically given this privilege.  The verse literally uses the word Direct, suggesting guiding, or leading. How can fathers accomplish this task effectively?

  1. A.     Determine the Target:

        Our text clearly identifies the way of the Lord as the right path that fathers need to lead their children into.  Continuing in the verse, God has stated that this is the right and just way. King Solomon in Proverbs 22:6 refer to this way as the way our children should go. I hope all of us are aware that not all ways are the right ways. Listen to this reminder from Proverbs 14:12:

“There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”

The truth is we cannot rely on ourselves to always know the best ways in life.  Because of our sinful nature, our natural bent is to always go against that which is right and just. Fortunately, God has already revealed to us what is right and just through His Word the Bible.  Fathers need to be familiar of the Bible if they intend to teach their children about it.  This reminds me of what the Lord has impressed the Israelites before they would enter the Promised Land.

Deuteronomy 4:5-6

5) See, I have taught you decrees and laws as the Lord my God commanded me, so that you may follow them in the land you are entering to take possession of it.

6) Observe them carefully, for this will show you wisdom and understanding to the nations, who will hear about all these decrees and say, “Surely, this great nation is a wise and understanding people,”

            In other words, the Word of God will make them a wise and great nation. Fathers, let’s not miss this, do we want to help our children become wise and eventually become great? They need to know and live out God’s Word in their lives. We need to help them love and learn God through His Word.

  1. B.     Diligently Train:

         Another idea that fathers need to emphasize as they ponder upon our responsibility is training their children. King Solomon uses this specific word in Proverbs 22:6. To train is more than just imparting information to them. Training means drilling, disciplining, and practicing. Training includes the development of behavior that becomes imbedded habits in the lives of our children.  There’s this maxim that says:

“Sow a thought, reap an action. Sow an action, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.”

     This is the very reason why we have to train. We would like to ensure the right destiny for our children. Of course, training is never an easy task. We have to see to it that we do this diligently. When the Israelites were commanded to train their children in loving the Lord, it is evident that diligence was expected.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9

6) These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.

7) Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road. When you lie down and when you get up.

8) Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.

9) Write them on the doorframes of your homes and on your gates.

            Fathers, we need to be intentional in training our children to embrace the right direction in life. As early as possible, they need to be exposed to this direction so that even when they get older, they will be committed to it.

II.          SHOW BY DEMONSTRATION: (v.19)

         Going back to our main text, we need to highlight another expectation that God has for Abraham. He needs to lead by his own example - he will direct his children and his household after him.

            The phrase after him says it. He cannot just tell his children and grandchildren where to go or what to do without doing it himself. This doesn’t work. Being the leader, his greatest influence happens when he sets himself as a role model.

            Now, speaking about demonstrating to children the right kind of life. I hope all the fathers here do recognize that this is not going to happen if you are consistently absent from your children. Your presence is absolutely crucial for the growth and well being of your children.

            Here is a good example. A report by Warren Mueller revealed that where both parents attend church regularly, 72% of their children continue in the faith. Where only the father attends, that percentage drops to 55 percent, but where only the mother attends, just 15 percent of the children remain involved in the church. 

            Fathers, our children will never be more than who we are spiritually. They can never understand the value of going to church or loving the Lord with all their hearts, if we are not going to show them through our own lives. If we are going to be a leader, we have to be a model.

            The Bible often shows the truth about “the sins of fathers.” It simply means that there were sins that fathers have committed that were repeated by their children as well. You will see the lying of Abraham about his wife as his sister, became the sin of Isaac too . The adultery of David was also seen in a greater scale in the life of Solomon. Then again, the prophets have constantly dealt with the sin of idolatry as it was being passed from one generation to the next sometimes to the third and fourth generation.

            We need to be very careful with the kind of examples we are projecting before our children. Even without telling them, they will imitate us. Let’s be more intentional in demonstrating to them what it means to really love the Lord with all our heart, mind, soul and strength.  They will never go wrong with such an example.

III.        SOW THE DESTINATION: (v.19)

            Lastly, considering the last part of verse 19, Abraham had to recognize that the fulfillment of God’s promise to him and his children was conditioned on his faithfulness as a father – “so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him."

            What exactly did God promise to Abraham? Go back to Genesis 12:2-3:

“I will make you a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be bless through you.”

     God’s promise to Abraham includes blessing them to the extent that him and his family great and prosperous. And then, his family becoming a channel of blessings to the entire world. This is such a great destination for Abraham and family.

            As a father, the challenge for Abraham is to faithfully fulfill his paternal responsibilities. Every time he guides his children and grandchildren to the right direction, every time he shows to them how to honor the Lord in their lives, he is sowing into the destination of his family.

            Likewise, every father should do the same. We should all recognize that we are building a great future for our children if we faithfully fulfill our calling. If we become careless and complacent, our children will reap a hard and struggling future. I’m sure none of us would want the latter for our children.

            I believe most fathers would be willing to die for their children if they are confronted with such a choice. Yet, most often, what is more significant for them is for us to live for them.  Let’s not forget, all children need their fathers to be actively involved in their lives.  When we decide to get involved, we have to put priority in the three responsibilities we have covered in this lesson – set the direction, show by demonstration, and sow the destination. May God continue to bless all BCI fathers!