Nurturing A Great Family

 

Growing a Great Family: (Part I)

NURTURING A GREAT FAMILY

Deuteronomy 6:1-9

Deuteronomy 6:1-9

1) These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess,

2) so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life.

3) Hear, O Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your fathers, promised you.

4) Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.

5) Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

6) These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.

7) Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

8) Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.

9) Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

            The late United States president, Lyndon B, Johnson once said, "The family is the corner stone of our society. More than any other force it shapes the attitude, the hopes, the ambitions, and the values of the child. And when the family collapses it is the children that are usually damaged. When it happens on a massive scale the community itself is crippled. So, unless we work to strengthen the family, to create conditions under which most parents will stay together, all the rest - schools, playgrounds, and public assistance, and private concern - will never be enough."

We cannot undermine the value of our families in our society, even in the church of Jesus Christ. As the family goes, so goes our society and our church. This is the reason why here at Bible Church International we always designate the months of May and June as our family months. Since these are the months we celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day, it is quite natural to focus on family matters. This morning is the ‘kick off' of our new series entitled, "Growing a Great Family." I'm sure we all desire a healthier family relationship. My prayer is that this series will remind us with some precious insights from the Word of God that will help build our families.

            For this first message, I would like to highlight three essential ingredients to a great family. I know that this is not an exhaustive list, but these ingredients were communicated by God Himself to the nation of Israel as they were preparing to enter the Promised Land. I believe the context of this text is so important - Israel was about to enter a great land, however they will not enjoy the land to the fullest if they carelessly ignore their family responsibilities. How appropriate is this for us! You and I are in a blessed land, and yet if we ignore God and His precepts today, we will still be miserable as individuals and as families. Therefore, let's study our text and examine the basic principles in order for our families to function the way God intended.   

I           THERE MUST BE TRUST IN GOD: (vv. 1-3)

            When you begin to read our passage, you may wonder where we are getting the idea of trusting in God. Clearly, the emphasis on obeying the laws and commands of God strikes you right away. Allow me to establish the connection. What you should not miss in the first three verses are the promises given when you choose to live in obedience:

  • Ø Verse 2, "that you may enjoy long life"
  • Ø Verse 3, "so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your fathers, promised you"

 

Now, with these promises, God is actually showing that their obedience comes out of their faith towards the trustworthiness of God. If they believe that God is able to deliver His promises, they will wholeheartedly obey Him.

Can you understand the relationship between faith and obedience? With Israel, many of their complications can be traced from their lack of faith towards God:

Deuteronomy 1:21-27

21) See, the Lord your God has given you the land. Go up and take possession of it as the Lord, the God of your fathers, told you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

22) Then all of you came to me and said, "Let us send men ahead to spy out the land for us and bring back a report about the route we are to take and the towns we will come to."

23) The idea seemed good to me; so I selected twelve of you, one man from each tribe.

24) They left and went up into the hill country, and came to the Valley of Eshcol and explored it.

25) Taking with them some of the fruit of the land, they brought it down to us and reported, "It is a good land that the Lord our God is giving us."

26) But you were unwilling to go up; you rebelled against the command of the Lord your God.

27) You grumbled in your tents and said, "The Lord hates us; so he brought us out of Egypt to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us.

 

            Notice especially verses 26- 27, God's people struggled to obey because they doubted the Lord. This even resulted to 40 years of difficulties and delays in the wilderness before entering the Promised Land.

            How's our family? Does everyone believe in God? Are we growing in our faith in God? Remember, when we grow in faith, we will grow in obedience. And obedience will bring to us God's bountiful blessings.  

II         THERE MUST BE TEACHING: (vv. 4-9)

            Another important ingredient in nurturing the family is intentionality in the area of teaching. Parents must teach diligently. And as they teach, they have to remember three basic requirements:

•A.    The Curriculum: (vv.4-5)

Parents should cover two important subject matters in their teachings:

  • There is only one Lord (v.4) - Coming out of Egypt where they were exposed to so many gods, they need to know that they only have one absolute master.
  • The Lord deserves their highest devotion (v.5) - Parents should teach their children to love God with all their heart, soul, and strength.

Exodus 20:1-4

1) And God spoke all these words:

2) "I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

3) "You shall have no other gods before me.

4) "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.

            The Ten Commandments, which God gave through Moses after Israel came out of Egypt prioritizes the same truths. Obviously, our homes cannot survive apart from this moral foundation.

•B.     The Communication: (vv. 6-7)

In order to be effective in our teaching, we need to teach in two ways:

  • By Life (vv. 6-7a) - In verse 6, Parents must see to it that the commandments are a part of their own lives. They can only teach what they have.

"Impress" - To affect deeply or strongly (Our examples to our children can accomplish this)

  • By Lips (v.7b) - Parents need to verbally teach their children about God consistently. More than the church, homes are expected to be teaching grounds about God.

"Faith is caught as well as taught"

•C.    The Creativity: (vv. 8-9)

We need to be creative in our teachings. We can reinforce our teachings by providing our children with the right environment. The Jews came up with phylacteries, which is basically a leather box strapped around the forehead that contains pieces of Scriptures. Our passage also suggests putting Scriptures in doorframes. What is critical for us to understand is the fact that we should make our faith a part of our environment  

III        THERE MUST BE TOGETHERNESS: (v.7)

            Last but not the least; our passage conveys the truth that parents and children must spend time together, "when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

            Evidently, it takes time for a group of people to become a family; much more, it takes time to build the family in the Lord. All the time spent together can strengthen our relationship as a family.    

            There was a story of a Father who realized he hadn't been spending as much time with his 2 young girls as he wanted. After apologizing, he said, "You know, the QUANTITY of time we spend together is not always as important as the QUALITY of time we spend together." His daughters age 6, and age 4, didn't quite understand, so the dad explained by saying, "Quantity means HOW MUCH time and quality means HOW GOOD the time is we spend together. Now, which would you rather have?" Not missing a beat, the 6 year-old replied, "Quality time-and lots of it!" Well, to build a family unit- we need to spend lots of quality time together, and these times can be tremendous opportunity to talk about the Lord

            Howard Hendricks, a well known professor of Dallas Theological Seminary once said, "Your home is the number one influence in the life of your child. The average church has a child 1% of his time, the home has him 83% and the school for the remaining 16%. This does not minimize the need for churches and schools, but it establishes the fact that your home is 83% of your child's world and you have only one time around to make it of maximum benefit.

            Let me ask you, when was the last time you did something TOGETHER as a family? Or when was the last time you laughed together as a family? You can't nurture your family without sharing experiences especially fun ones!

            I know there are other things we need in our families besides trust in God, teaching, and togetherness. But I always believe that God Word is our guide in this life. We cannot be a healthy family without these three. Most importantly, we cannot build our families in the Lord without them. Just like the Psalmist, I hope we can have this commitment:

Psalm 78:4-7

4) We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done.

5) He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children,

6) so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.

7) Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.