Finding Hope in Parenting

A Household of Faith: (Part III)

FINDING HOPE IN PARENTING

Psalms 127:1-5 (NIV)
1 Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.
2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat-- for he grants sleep to those he loves.
3 Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth.
5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

            It is a great honor to be the Pastor of BCI, a church that ministers to a lot of little kids, and I’m anticipating that there will be more coming. Not that I’m encouraging biological growth in our church, but that I’m fully aware of how precious these little children are in the sight of the Lord, and to be entrusted with so many of them, I take it as an affirmation that we must be doing something right in our ministry.          

I would also like to make sure that we, as a church, faithfully come alongside our families in raising their children in the Lord. I recognize the fact that parenting is much harder today compared the time when my wife and I were just starting to build a family. I understand that the cultural trends nowadays have made it more difficult for parents to raise their kids. In preparing for this message, I was reading a book by Dr James Dobson and Gary L. Bauer entitled, “Children at Risk,” I would like to quote a statement that would provide a good picture of our environment today:

The hard fact is something has gone wrong at the core of American society. Consider the empirical evidence: since 1960, population has increased 41 percent; the gross domestic product has nearly tripled; and the total levels of social spending by all levels of government (measured in constant 1990 dollars) have risen from $143.73 billion to $787 billion – more than a five-fold increase. But during the same thirty-year period, there has been a more than 500 percent increase in violent crime, a more than 400 percent in illegitimate births; a tripling of the percentage of children living in single-parent homes; a tripling in the teenage suicide rate; a doubling in the divorce rate; and a drop of almost seventy-five points in SAT scores.

            Of course, these figures are frightening for all parents who are just starting to raise children. The social environments where children are growing today have become more toxic than ever, but I would like to declare that Christian parents need not despair. I believe with all my heart that God is in full control. He is never surprised with all of these things. Being a Sovereign God, He knew everything that would happen even before the foundation of the world. He knew exactly what kind of culture and environment young children must grow up today. And He is able today as He was yesterday, or twenty, thirty, and even fifty years ago to supply His people with power, wisdom, strength and blessings.

This morning, I would like to speak about this kind of hope that we all can experience in our Lord. Perhaps, many of you as parents are feeling the pressures and frustrations of fulfilling your calling. I pray that I can encourage you to continually look to the Lord for help. With our series, A Household of Faith, it is my intention to remind everyone that our faith in the Lord is exactly what we need to raise great kids even in this toxic environment. With this, I would like to highlight three responses in order to find hope in today’s parenting:

           

I           ACKNOWLEDGE THE PRIVILEGE: (vs. 3-5)

            When God gives us children, he has granted an awesome privilege. King Solomon himself, a man who was blessed with God’s wisdom, declared it in these words - Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.  

            Watch for the specific words used by the Psalmist in order to drive the point across:

  1. Heritage – Literally describe as an inheritance or treasures. Our children are entrusted treasures to us by God. We have to nurture them as such.
  2. Reward – Dr. Howard Hendricks wrote, “Not a curse, not a tragedy, not an accident – they are expression of God’s favor. It is a thrilling sight to see your children through the lens of Scripture as trophies.
  3. Arrows in the hands of a warrior – Our children when nurtured well through time can be a defense and support to the family. That’s why blessed are those whose house are full of them because they provide security for the household.

Do you see your children according through the eyes of God? He has made it clear in His words that children have been designed to be tremendous sources of blessings for us. Unfortunately, more and more people have looked to them as burdens and a source of inconvenience. I trust none of us will see them that way. Instead we need to enjoy them and learn to communicate to them that they are special gifts to us from God. Parents, when was the last time to told your children and or made them feel they are special? Steve Farrar, a well known lecturer and author to Christian men wrote:

If God blesses you with children, you’ll be taking part in one of the most significant accomplishments a man can enjoy. Some guys head their own corporations by age thirty-five. Big deal. Some guys win five medals at the Olympics. Big deal. Some guys climb Mount Everest. Big deal. Some guys swim the length of the Pacific under water without taking a breath. Big deal. In my book, none of those exploits come close to the man who has learned to change diaper without throwing up. That’s what I call a big deal. Especially when you can do it without an oxygen mask.

Parents, take to heart that God did not give you children to punish you but to reward you. I even believe He wants to use our children to help us grow because they can be great teachers to us. They can teach us what sacrificial love is about, what it means to put somebody else first when it is hard to do it, and how to love with an unconditional love, that kind of love we ourselves have received from God. Beloved, if you have kids today, you are tremendously blessed.

 

II         APPRECIATE THE PARTNERSHIP: (vs.1-2)

            Another important response all Christian parents should have is to appreciate the fact that we are never alone in our responsibilities. God offers himself as a partner willing to supply the graces we need. There are three significant functions that God can fulfill:

A.    He is the builder: (v.1)

If anyone of us desires to build a strong home, we must never forget that God must be its architect and foundation. Since He is the one who invented the home, we must be willing to put Him at the center and allow Him to build our homes. Jesus clearly taught about this truth:

Matthew 7:24-27 (NIV)
24 "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.
25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.
27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

            There are only two kinds of builders – the wise and the foolish one. The foolish one built his house on the sand while the wise man built his house on the rock. When the storms came and the flood rise, the house on the sand collapsed, while the house on the rock stood still. Don’t miss verse 26; those who don’t obey the words of God are building their house on the sand. God has anointed us to raise our children in His ways. He is able to give wisdom, which we

need in order to be effective parents. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

B.     He is our protector: (vs.1)

God is not only a partner in building our homes; He is also involved in protecting our homes.

Security has always been a priority to men. In ancient times huge walls were built around cities. At various points along the wall were elevated towers. Watchmen were stationed there at all hours of the day and night. They prevented unwanted persons from entering into the city. They warned the people of the city of imminent attacks. Today we have security guards, watchdogs and sophisticated electronic devices, all designed to provide the same security sought by the ancients. God offers himself to us as our ultimate protector

Secular sociologists have put Christian families in microscopes and concluded that they are most likely to thrive compared to families to don’t believe in God. Marianne K. Hering reported some of these findings in Focus on the Family Magazine article entitled “Believe Well, Live Well.” She wrote:

Pluck any man out of a church pew on Sunday morning and liken him to a neighbor who’s still at home, pouring through the two-pound Sunday newspaper in his easy chair. Let’s say the two are the same age and earn comparable salaries. Neither of them smokes, drinks, or plays the lottery. Both floss their teeth, collect baseball cards, and enjoy cheesecake. Which man will live longer and enjoy the benefits of a stable marriage? Answer: the man (or woman) in the pew. In recent years, scientific research is backing up what common sense has told us for years, mainly that churchgoers live longer, stay married, and feel happier than those who say they don’t believe in God (September issue, 1994).

C.    He is our Provider (v.2)       

            Thirdly, God also cares in providing the needs of His people. Reading verse 2, the Psalmist emphasizes the futility of diligent working without the assistance of God. Let’s not misunderstand the passage, God is not against diligent working, but what He is saying to us is: We cannot do it on our own; we need to seek His provisions. Jesus reminded us:

Matthew 6:31-33 (NIV)
31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'
32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

            Our greatest source of hope as parents is the fact that God offers Himself to be a significant partner in life especially in parenting. We don’t have to do it out of our own strength, we have to pray and ask for His help. But in order to avail of God’s gracious help, we need to move to the last point.   

 

III        ACCEPT THE PRIORITY:

             I find Matthew 6:33 as a great passage to end this message because we often stumble on the idea that God demands being the first priority in our homes. What does that mean?

            There is no question that our children our precious because they are God’s gifts; however, we need to be careful not to put them at the center of our lives. God demands that he remains to be in the center. This is clearly seen in the life of Abraham:

Genesis 22:12 (NIV)
12 "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

            Abraham was put to a test, God asked him to offer his one and only son, Isaac, on Mount Moriah in order to show that God was more important to him than his son. Sometimes, there are parents who make the mistake of putting their children before God. This is unacceptable. If we want God’s help, then we must know His condition – He demands first priority in our homes.

            Are we more committed to God than to our children? Parenting is a blessed, yet difficult calling. Let’s us make the mistake of doing it out of our own wisdom and strength. The good news is God wants to help us. But in order to avail His help, we must put Him in the center of our lives and homes.