FAQ part 1

 

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Part I

Ephesians 5:15-17

15) Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise,

16) making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

17) Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

  • Question - How can I balance church ministry, home responsibilities and work responsibilities?

            Maintaining balance between church, home, and work responsibilities is one of the most challenging tasks for any sincere believer of Jesus Christ.

            The reality is, the word "balance" can bring some sort of confusion. Since I will be using this word over and over again, I want you to understand that when I speak about bringing balance into your life, I'm not talking about finding the exact amount of time between home, church, and work. Because you know that is impossible. So many times our career or work would take more hours. I believe the key idea when we talk about "balance" is effectivity. This morning, I would want to show you that home, church, and work are all legitimate areas of our lives where we need to desire equal effectivity.  

            Unfortunately, For many people, there is a great imbalance because their jobs dominate their lives.  Consider these statistics:

In 1973 the average American spent 40 hours a week at work. In 1987 that amount increased to an average of 46 hours a week. Today, if you're a professional you work an average of 52 hours a week and if you're a small business owner or operator you work an average of 57 hours a week.

            Of course, this does not include an average commute to work of 1 to 2 hours a day.  No wonder many are so stressed about life because their lives are out of control.

            Going back to our question for today, first, I would like to direct your attention to the words of the apostle Paul to the believers at Ephesus. He exhorts his readers to be wise by being careful in how they live. He explains to them that by living carefully we will not waste our limited time or opportunities.  Perhaps, it is acceptable to say that living wisely means living a balance life. I believe there are three principles that will help us:

I           THE WAY WE USE OUR TIME REVEALS OUR VALUES AND PRIORITIES:

            When we speak of our values and priorities, we mean those which are important to us. They are those which should get our best efforts. I believe God gives us some hint for the top priorities in his words revealed in the first and second greatest commandments:

Matthew 22:36-39

36) "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"

37) Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'

38) This is the first and greatest commandment.

39) And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

            First and foremost, we are commanded to give our highest love to God. Therefore, our first priority in life is God.  The sooner we accept this, the better it is for us.          

            Let me be clear, that this does not refer to church activities, ministries or volunteer opportunities in the church, and the like. This refers solely to the relationship with God and to your developing that relationship.

            So, for you, work can't be first, wife/husband can't be first, children can't be first, and church can't be first. God must be first, and all others will find security and comfort about you when they see that reality. What do you need to do? This is what we all need to figure out.

            Do you spend time talking to God or listening to His words? Have you maintained your quite times with God? Do you find ways to keep a loving relationship with him by growing in your obedience? Remember, God demands that He be first priority.

Matthew 6:33

33) But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

            Then, we're told who is next? According to verse 39, it's our neighbors. Who are our closest neighbors? Spouse, then family, then others.  In a well-ordered life, we have relationships we need to develop.  From the time of our creation, when God declared, "It is not good for a man to be alone." it is quite obvious that He created us with a connection requirement.  He created us to need other people.

            After these two priorities, come other priorities such as the church and our work. I always have considered church as a priority before work. Why? Well, for the simple reason that the spiritual life should always take precedence over the physical life:

Matthew 4:4

4) Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"

            If through your jobs, you get provisions for your physical life, it is through the church you will get provisions for your spiritual life. To have a healthy life, you have to take care of your soul and spirit, before your body.

            These are all the basic priorities in a believer's life. Our responsibility is to determine how much time we will spend in these areas in order that we will experience effectivity in all. Is the time you are spending for God or family enough to develop good relationship? Is the time you are spending in church, result in your productivity? May we be not careless in handling these values and priorities.

II         TIME MUST BE BUDGETED:

            Time has always been equated with money. That's why we always talk about "spending time" just like we're spending money. Often, when we speak of budgeting, we refer to money. Since we have a limited supply of it, we find it wise to sit down and plan how we should spend it.

            With money, we think through our priorities and we allocate accordingly. If you are a believer, obviously, you begin separating your tithes and offerings. Then, you go to fixed expenditures like food, house, utilities, insurances, or some money for emergencies. Only after you have set aside these amounts for necessities, do you take on your discretionary funds. In budgeting money, you have to distinguish the fixed expenses from the discretionary. If you mixed these up, you will end up deep debts.

            Same can be said of time. Because we have a limited supply of it we have to learn how to budget. Just like in money, we have to distinguish the fixed - what we must do. And the discretionary - what we would like to do. If we don't budget our time according to our priorities, we will also end up in deep troubles.

            So, if God is a priority, you have to carve out a time for him. Same way with the family, church, and of course work. Revisit your daily planners and see if times are carve out according to your priorities.

            Gordon MacDonald in his book, Ordering Your Private World, reminds his readers that they fail to set up their own time budgets, others will enter their worlds and force their agendas and priorities upon them.

            We definitely don't want to be deprived of spending the best time for our priorities. But we often allow others to rob us of some quality time with God and our families.

            Allow me to be clear, if you will budget your time, write your activities in a calendar way in advance.  If others will come and request a schedule, it is easier to say no when you have a set commitment written in a calendar. Chances are if it's not in a calendar, it's not a solid commitment.

III        DON'T NEGLECT THE CHURCH:

            Finally, before I conclude our subject this morning, I also want to give some emphasis about our involvement in the church. At this point, I have already made myself clear that family comes before the church activities and ministries.

            However, I also want to say that we have to be careful that we do not neglect its importance in our lives. Reality tells us that there are so many believers who strive to be effective and productive in their jobs but totally disregard their responsibilities in the church. In evangelical churches today, between 60 to 80 percent of the congregants still remain inactive or uninvolved in church ministries.

            Consider this conversation between Jesus and Peter which occurred after Peter denied Jesus:

John 21:15-17

15) When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

16) Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"

He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."

17] The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.

            For every affirmation of Peter's love, Jesus pointed to a ministry he needed to fulfill to demonstrate his love - "Feed my lambs." I believe it is clear what Jesus was driving at. It is not enough to verbalize our love, it must be expressed in services towards His people.

            Beloved, we cannot ignore the church. The church is important to Christ because He died for the church. So find time to serve God as well in the church. Find a ministry. This does not have to be in conflict with your family time. If fact, if you are active in a church as a parent, you are able to demonstrate to your children what it means to really love the Lord. I don't think it's possible to tell your children you love God and not attend or serve in the church. It is not congruent.

            How will you spend your time? Consider this - There are 168 golden hours in each week. The average person will spend about 56 of those hours sleeping, about 24 of those hours in eating and personal hygiene, and about 50 of those hours working or traveling to work. That means there are only about 35 hours a week of "discretionary" time left over. That's about 5 hours per day.  How will those hours be spent?

            If someone will follow you around and observe you for those 5 hours, after about 10 days, could that person tell you what is most important in your life.  Would it show you really love the Lord, would it reveal you love surfing in the Internet or television or others. Again, may we all be wise in living our lives making the most of our limited opportunities.